


Mind over Matter

by trufflemores



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationship, Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Killer Frost emerges spec fic, a bit of whump, oh and
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 06:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8612521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trufflemores/pseuds/trufflemores
Summary: Caitlin reflects on becoming Killer Frost, in haikus.





	

The mirror shows her

Two futures: one where she's good

And one where she's not.

 

Mind over matter:

Never let it close enough

To kill you - or them.

 

The instructions: "Don't

Gaze at blue basilisk eyes;

They won't forgive you.

 

"If your hair turns white

Cut it off. You're Medusa,

Not Samson. Looks kill."

 

"Your heartbeat will slow

To a glacial crawl. Don't let

It give you away.

 

"Those icicles are

Fatal to living creatures.

Touch at your own risk.

 

"They'll say they love you

No matter who you become

They have no idea."

 

"When their breath stops in

Their chests, don't say I didn't

Warn you. We both knew.

 

"(Luxury: item

Of remarkable value.

Example: a hug.)

 

"They make you feel loved.

They don't know you're the worst thing

That happened to them."

 

Caitlin stares at her

Shaking hands. Would they follow

If she ran away?

 

How long would they look

For the Caitlin they once knew

Before they caught on?

 

Cisco's doppel

Was evil; Barry's, harmless.

Hers was a monster.

 

Heroes aren't born with

Ice in their souls. Friends say, "Cold

Hands." She says: "Cold heart."

 

A doctrine presides:

"Speed and cold are opposites."

She's a threat to him.

 

Barry has lightning.

Cisco has waves. They could take

Her down. Break them first.

 

Thermodynamics:

Cold is not injected. Warmth

Is taken away.

 

Take Barry down first.

He's the lesser threat. Cisco

Could shatter her spine.

 

He's smart. Strong enough

To be deadly. He won't go

Down without a fight.

 

On Earth-2, Reverb

And Killer Frost were partners.

On Earth-1, they're friends.

 

Is it easier

With her eyes closed, her last sense

Of self demolished?

 

Would he surrender?

Could she live if his dying

Words were "Caitlin, please"?

 

Blood-soaked suit, crumpled

Knees, would he still entreat her

"Caitlin, don't leave me"?

 

The cuffs chafe her wrists.

She'd take them off if she knew

She couldn't hurt them.

 

 _Poor circulation_ ,

She lies, heart beating faster

Than she thought it could.

 

She tries to avoid

Physical contact with them.

But they still love her.

 

Their love language is

Good morning coffees, random

Bursts of affection.

 

Personal space is

A suggestion, not a rule

Rules can be broken.

 

They're her family.

In family, we share, we

Do not keep secrets.

 

She's lonely and she

Misses them. They'd let her in

If she would let them.

 

STAR Labs doesn't feel

Like home anymore, not since

She froze over.

 

She never planned to

Tell them. Unless she had to,

She'd die with the truth.

 

With heat and without

Remorse, Cisco says, "Tell them.

They deserve to know."

 

Caitlin wants to scream

To rage or balk or bleed out.

Anything but this.

 

Cisco knows; Barry

Shouldn't. Flashpoint altered her

Destiny. He _knew_.

 

Cisco says, "We'll find

A way." Barry says, "Nothing

Is written in stone."

 

She wants to carve it

On his soul and on his skin

"Next time, write with stone."

 

. o .

 

She breaks because

Ice put under pressure is

Tragedy in wait.

 

Barry makes the first

Mistake: he holds his punches.

She doesn't hold hers.

 

The rage is revenge

For the singularity;

Barry never paid.

 

Speedsters are people

With too much power that does

Not belong to them.

 

Caitlin puts him down

Like Achilles, through his leg.

An artery bursts.

 

She's unresponsive,

Grenaded, shell-shocked, white noise

Blocking her senses.

 

(Thermodynamics:

Death is not injected. Life

Is taken away.)

 

Cisco pleads, "Caitlin,"

And it isn't his own life

He's bargaining for.

 

"Caitlin," he repeats,

"Caitlin, please." She looks at him.

Hands up, surrender.

 

Blue eyes soften; ice

Retreats. The world-consuming

Haze disintegrates.

 

She can't touch him; at

Best, her hands would burn his skin.

Cisco hands her cuffs.

 

She can feel the warmth

Return to frigid fingers.

Need crushes defeat.

 

Cisco's hand on her

Shoulder shakes. He doesn't fear,

But trust is too far.

 

Barry looks ghostly

By the time Cisco and she

Haul him to STAR Labs.

 

She feels Frost flare up

Under her ribs. Barry's blood

Stains her fingertips.

 

A war of the worlds

Claims clearheadedness, but not

Her competency.

 

Cisco hangs back, jarred

From his comfort zone. Her

Presence agitates.

 

Even with the cuffs

Her palms are numb. If Barry

Dies, it's on her hands.

 

Barry puts his hand

On her forearm. And he says,

"I'm okay. I promise."

 

The lightning is an

Undercurrent to his words,

Truth from turbulence.

 

They're not even scared

In such close proximity.

They haven't learned fear.

 

They're afraid for her,

But they're not afraid of her.

Fearlessness is trust.

 

She can feel Frost wax

And wane between the calming

Presence of them both.

 

Vibe is singular.

Speedsters are plural. Both are

Irreplaceable.

 

She says, "I'm sorry"

Over and over. They let

Her, but they don't leave.

 

When Barry insists

On standing too soon after

She accepts the hug.

 

Cisco pulls a grunt

From Barry when he joins in;

Bruised wounds forgive.

 

Caitlin thinks, _I can't_

_Lose you. You're my family._

Cisco says, "We know."

 

"We're gonna get through

This," Barry says. Cisco adds,

"However we can."

 

When Barry's leg loses

Strength, Cisco helps him keep his

Footing. "I've got you."

 

They sit on a bed

Together, still suited up.

Caitlin hesitates.

 

Cisco reaches out,

Takes her sleeve, and pulls her

To his other side.

 

It doesn't matter

That she's cold. Barry runs hot.

Cisco falls between.

 

Equipoise: balance

Achieved between opposing

And equal forces.

 

"We'll be okay. This

Is a setback. We've survived

Worse," Cisco affirms.

 

Caitlin tries to think

Of a worse time, when their bond

Was more tenuous.

 

But she feels the strength

Beside her. She knows that they're

Strong enough for this.

 

She's strong enough. Frost

Is one choice. They're another.

In the end, she stays.

 


End file.
